When you're in the eye of the storm

In light of my cousin's efforts over the weekend I decided to bike to and from work today... normally no problem if I'm going to my normal work. Today, however, I had to go to Port Credit... so morning shift bike to Eglington and Mavis... Afternoon shift... bike to Hurontario and Lakeshore.
Not a good idea!!! I had a lung full of exhaust from every car that went by and my butt hurt really bad... I got two cramps in both my knees at the same time and it was a nice a sunny day out! Scortcher!!!
Anyways, I didn't die! As you can tell because I am still here! But I could have... and that is the reality of it... don't do stupid things like ride your bike for three hours on a hot day... whether it's going to work or going to find lost treasure on Toronto's Islands... just don't do it... you deserve better!
Instead... you can drive your car around to create more pollution... increasing the temperature even further in your nice airconditioned automobile... It's ok, I do it too! It's just too bad that they're such a necessity... although there is public transit which my Aunt Esther takes all the time... at least as far as I know she does... (in the Winter on snow days). But people tell me that they don't want to feel like sardines or that buses smell like urine.
In any case... buses and transit can get inconvenient... so that's probably the reason why they aren't more popular. If they were though... gas prices might go down... the environment might get a little better... mass hysteria!!!

Don't wait for the Electric Car (that is affordable and efficient): David hasn't perfected it yet! Take the bus!

Comments are always welcome.

Toodles.

Lula lounge

Yes, I can see it now... I do find it easy to express my emotions... don't know why. Maybe because I've had so much time to get used to doing it. Not having a brother or a sister means that you have to fill the time with something. So you think... you think about ways to make time fun. You play board games by yourself and become the second and third players. You think about all the little details.
I've known other only children... they're pretty weird too. Maybe weirder than I am. But, without fail... only children have a unique perspective on the world. They have never had to share. They've received all the love and attention from their parents. They get all blame. They must deal with all the expectations.
Yes, people with siblings have unique experiences as well but they'll never understand being the only one. It's a big responsibility. It's a big burden.


Toodles.

Windward Shorts: Cubicle War

Oh man... cubicle war!!!

Waking up with no hands...

When you have your mind on something... you need to relax...
Less retardation, more relaxation!
I used to be relaxed... A freight train could plow through my living room and I wouldn't notice a thing.
Well, let's see... five steps to relaxation... five steps...
Don't have any... way too intense...

Just know... don't question... there is no spoon...

Toodles.

Tea with Nids...

Check out the new songs on the right when you get a chance!!! Totally melowed out.
When you come to this point in your life... you only want to surround yourself with the positive people. Nida Shahid might not always be positive... but if there is a person you can count on to be there for you when times are tough... it's probably going to be her.
There we were, Tim Horton's. Talking over two paper cups filled with tea. I hadn't seen her in about a month... mistakenly thought that she had done something to her hair. We talked about hypocrisy, and drama, and new people and making it out of life alive. Both looking for something more... both hoping that the other person finds something great. That's the type of friend I need.
And those are the type of friends that I have. The kind that are there for life and that will listen and that will put up with it all and won't tell me that I am annoying. The type that tell me that it is not a burden to help me when I am down.
I've had a really bad 2006 so far. I lost a dog (although that was in 2005 still, which makes me hope that the end of 2006 will have something good for me), I lost a job, I didn't get into my PhD, I didn't get into teacher's college, and to top it all off... Well, maybe that's a story for another post.
These last few months have been the turn around. Back to school! Business program and I better not even think of slacking because one year from now I plan on getting paid. New girl... that is amazing and challenging and makes me want to be better... but, if nothing else, has reminded me that I am worth it.
And things are looking up.
But in my darkest hour... when other's turned their back on me and showed their true colours... real friends were there for me... and I won't forget it.
Thank you to these people and may Zeus strike me down with a bolt of lightning if I forget their help ever:
Barbara who shared her story and made me feel that it was ok to be who I was and ALWAYS TOOK MY SIDE... I might have been wrong... but she sure never made me feel that way.
Kevin, who was a friend again in a split second. Who never really stopped being a friend. Who I should have hung out with more often.
A. S., Because I know he'll thinks it's gay that I mention him in my Blog, I'm just going to use his initials... he's a smart guy who speaks his mind... and his story of his breakup helped me deal with my own. He might have given me some false hope... but in the end it was worth every minute.
Nigmendra Narain... who was awesome in so many ways that it's not even easy to talk about... you're just there for me... we don't have to talk about breakups or anything... talking politics is a good enough escape.
Dave for being a cousin and for being a good one. For never having anything against me although he could have held a lot against me. I hope his flight lands ok tonight!!! Sorry that your honeymoon is over.
George who is a good friend to my cousin and is a good guy to have around... I look forward to years of laughter with that guy.
Elaine C. Who had no reason to be my friend again but was anyways...
Ben and the rest of my students who loved me as a TA and who will always remind me that I am indestructible.
And there is always the rest of the crowd from my Masters who worked really hard to build me up again... all of them... all of them.
Lastly, to a good friend who I hope stays around for a good long time... Nida. We should have coffee at least once a month like you said. And I hope that we are friends for a long time like I hope that I am friends with all these people for a long time.
I've made that promise before: "friends for life" and I haven't always kept it... but these people have shown me that I was their friend when times were rough... I'm not going to turn my back on them when times are good or bad.

Cheers to friends... the ones that are positive and don't turn their backs on you no matter how low you get.

Cheers to all of you! Here's to moving forward! Here's to honesty! Here's to enjoying life!

Why Zidane? Why...?

Not much to say... France lost... in the shootout. Maybe because Zinedine decided to headbutt an Italian player twenty minutes into extratime. I really don't understand.
Anyways. Going to take a nap. I'm saying yes to naps!


Toodles.

The Shower

A good long shower is all you need. So relaxing. And it doesn't make you think. It makes you oblivious to all the other things in the world... for 15 to 30 minutes. Like the rain: striking soflty, washing all the cares away.
I used to think that a shower was a way to take away the sins of the day. A cleansing. An enema.
Now, I think it's just a shower. Soothing for a couple of minutes. A nice way to get clean. I'm thinking of getting one of those nice showerheads... the ones that make it rain.
Have peaceful dreams tonight. Something to take the edge off.

Toodles.

Les Bleus! France in the Finals!

France is in the finals. They're going to win too... I know because I just do.
Picture of Zenedine Zidane (Zizou)... he's awesome.




Toodles.

Long Day... long night... long life.

The long morning rolled in. I was up with the sun. It was a new and awesome day. There was nothing that I could do about it: there was no way for me to stop the joy. I woke up and ate my breakfast... the same thing for the past three-and-a-half years. Routine! Can't live without it. Routine equals security. When there is no structure there is confusion. I need to work on forgetting routine.
I woke up because I was waiting for something that never came... that's ok... I'm used to lowering my expectations of others. I don't like lowering those expectations... it's just something that happens when the rest of the world can't be as amazing as you. I took a drag from a rancid cigarette. Hmmmm... Rancid... It was a good cigarette: I hadn't filled my lungs with that spicy pollution for nearly a year. And I sat on the curb, with my limp cigarette and wiped the exhaust from my eyes.
That sun's too big... it's too big in my eyes... it's too big... someone should take it down from the sky for a day... or at least ask it to take a nap. Cars pass: People going to work. I laugh in the face of work... I have a dentist appointment today. I puff to spite the cars. They puff back; I get a mouthful of car and cancer. Don't smoke or put your face at the same level as the car muffler. It will not make you a better person.
All my little hens in a row... all things nicely arranged. What have I learned...? and don't be arrogant you pompous asshole... WHAT have you REALLY learned?
To keep my mouth shut? To stop being a whiny sucky-pants? To learn how to spell? Aside from all of that... I've learned that this is my last cigarette ever... no more of this once a year crap to remind me why I don't.
This street never looked so lonely. It was full of life once. Maybe that was yesterday... I can't remember anymore... maybe it hasn't been that way since I moved in so many many years ago. I don't remember any more. It seems like so long ago.
I don't give a shit... just let me enjoy this last stick of white death for a little longer... just a little longer.

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