Moon is down

It's another interesting day for me. I came home early from working with the kids. And I was just thinking. When you're unhappy with life you have to do everything you can to change it. I don't know how much I've changed. Maybe I haven't. Maybe I need to still change some of the fundamentals. But, I don't think that there is a problem with the fundamentals.
And even if there was a problem with the fundamentals how could I change who I was? Can I stop being me? Can I fake it? Wouldn't the real me come out eventually? hmmm... all good questions.

I must meditate... oh... that cloud looks like a lion.

Toodles.

The lonely life of a paid assasin

No, I am not a paid assasin. I can only imagine what that would be. Always hiding, never getting close to anyone because the next day you might have to leave. Always drinking milk.
Well, I always drink milk anyways. Someone once told me that drinking milk actually hurts your bones in the long run. I don't know if it's true but if it were then drinking milk would be like smoking, only instead of ruining your lungs it would be your bones that would deteriorate.
I think I'll continue to drink milk anyways. It tastes good. A lot of doctors recommend it. The comercials make me want to drink more of it... well, except for that new campaign that has everyone rapping and dancing... they need to do better research before they come up with add campaigns like that.
Besides, it's the choice of the assasin. How could something so pure be the drink of choice for someone so ... how would I put that... not evil... dangerous!!! ha. Anyways, watch "The Professional" if you get a chance. Awesome movie! Very sad, very uplifting.

Toodles!

I pour a sip on the concrete for the deceased.

In this time of transition I have to symbolically say goodbye to some people that have died or that have gone from my life. This is my sip on the concrete for them: to let them know that I will always think of them, that I was happy to have known them and that I’m happy to be going on with my life.
First: To Snowy and Whisky Fadel, two of the greatest dogs in the world. I miss you both and you were a part of this family and you will always be remembered.
Second: To Kasey Ross, I know that you were as good to my cousins as Snowy was to me.
Third: To R.G. a good friend who always had a lot to say. I know that I will miss you for your views on life. I know that I will miss your rant always and if we meet again I know that I can greet you with a smile.
Fourth: To T, to S, to K, to N: beyond anything else… you were good friends. And I loved to laugh with you. And I will continue to think about the good times and hold those as golden. I will never forget the lip-synch, the basement, dressing up like gangsters or the trip to the zoo.
And a special tribute to Square One: my home away from home for 5 years. I will miss that mall and that job… but it’s the good times that I will remember: the friends, the chance to learn about who I am.
Today, I bury these people and things not to say that they didn’t mean anything… but to say that they meant so much and that they always will. But there is no anger and there is no sadness. There is only joy that I knew such wonderful people and things in my life. And that I was able to grow because of them.
Another lesson learned. Another sun-down and sun-up. Another reminder that life is worth living. Never be scared of what life has to offer. Never be scared of the tomorrow because tomorrow is soon to become today.


Toodles.

Music links on the right!

I've started to post music links. You can get more atmosphere and ambiance while you read my blog if you listen to them.
Music makes my wolrd go round and I think that every good life should have a soundtrack.

Hope you enjoy!

Toodles.

This parody of X-men contains coarse language and scenes of violence. Viewer discretion is advised. If you are 18 and over... go on and watch... if not... then seriously consider asking your parents before you ruin your mind with silly, offensive things like this cartoon. That being said... this is some seriously funny crap!

Toodles.

juggernaught bitch!

Epiphany and then some

Considering all that has gone on in the last few months, I have figured out a lot of things. When it happened, I was a mess and I tried desperately to fill the void that was left behind.
Since then, I've worked on a lot of things that I had put aside. I've written a lot and I've done things that I probably would have never done otherwise (like wall climbing). And I've met and reacquainted myself with a lot of good people.
I've also come up with a whole bunch of projects. Projects that will take me a long time to finish.
I guess that I still feel raw about what happened. I still feel let down. But I'm learning that building myself back up and paying attention to myself is important and can be a good thing.
I don't know if there is anyone out there for me. But, for now, I'm going to try to be better on my own. And maybe someone nice will come along one day.


I think that I needed Dave's stagg to make me realize that I would be ok. I needed to see my cousins and be with people. I think that I needed my friends, old and new. And they were there like no time had passed. And I didn't realize how important that was to me until now.

Still rebuilding. But the foundation is solid.

Toodles

Always the Bride's Maid...

26 and my life is still... trying to get up that great big hill.

So, here I am. As wonderful and big hearted as normal. My cousin Dave just got married. I love that guy. And I'm so happy for him. But he's 4 months younger than I am. And I feel old. People laugh at me when I tell them that I feel that way. They tell me that I am 26 and that I have so much time to do what I want, when I want. And they might be right but it doesn't keep me from feeling tired.

Oh well, no more Mr. Nice guy... because they finish last. Well, maybe I can strategically hide Mr nice guy. Maybe that's impossible. I'm too damn honest to stop being Mr Nice guy. UH! Stupid code of ethics and morality. I'm cursed to be a nice guy for the rest of my life.